How to Get Through Bad Days/Weeks/Months

When I feel upset for a long period of time, I have noticed that it's often because I have this feeling of worthlessness that permeates through every part of my life.  Sometimes my bad mood is triggered by a time I didn't do my best or didn't get what I wanted.  Other times, like when I would come home from school during breaks,  it starts because I am genuinely bored and lonely.  The underlying issue consistently is that I feel like I have no purpose.  So in order to feel better about myself and my life, I try to give myself some kind of purpose.

As someone who has struggled with depression,  I will be the first to admit that it can be very difficult to get through just a day sometimes.  Through my years of pushing past these feelings, these are some of the things I have learned to do to help me get through it.  I hope some of these are helpful to any of you who are feeling like you're in a bad place.

Take Time Off

Make sure you take time by yourself to do whatever you need to do.  This is important!! As good as it is to get out of the house when you're feeling bad, alone time is also necessary.  Don't force yourself into social obligations if you truly don't feel up to it.  You'll know when it's right.

Dress Up

Once you're through wallowing in bed, getting out of your pajamas and getting dressed can make you feel tons better even if you don't plan on leaving your house.  Wear your favorite outfit and try out a new makeup routine.  If you think you look good, chances are you will feel good too.

Take a Bath

"There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them."  Don't knock it just because Sylvia Plath said it.  She was a smart lady with her own set of struggles.  If anything, it just proves she knew what's up.  I recall an instance where I went and bought one of those fancy Lush bath bombs that had heart-shaped confetti in it and felt like a new person after weeks of feeling bad.  It was worth every penny but honestly any bath will do.

Set Small Goals

It's always really satisfying to check something off your to-do list.  Start at the smallest little things that you know you can accomplish and then make the tasks more difficult. Sometimes I just start off with one goal for the day that I know I can follow through with.  It gives me a reason to get up and out of bed and then there's the added feeling of pride when the task has been completed.

Think About the Future

No, not in a super scary way that will make you anxious- don't do that! Instead, make a list of some upcoming events that you're looking forward to.  Whenever I have a bad day, I think of all the things that I am looking forward to and it just gives me a reason to get past everything that's getting me down.  Write a list to keep on you.  Put the dates on your calendar for reference.  If you can't possibly think of anything coming up, that just means you're going to have to make plans.

Go Out

Only when you think you're up to it, make sure you make plans and go outside of your room.  Text a friend and make plans to meet even if it's just for coffee.  It's important to engage yourself in activities so that your mind doesn't wander back to sad thoughts.  If you would like to engage in more of a commitment, consider looking into a volunteer position.  People do need you and they're expecting you to show up because you matter.  However, don't overwhelm yourself with social obligations and make sure you stick to what's comfortable for you at the time.

Buy a Thing

I'm not trying to encourage a shopping addiction but I will say that ordering something online especially has done wonders for me.  It's a little dramatic, but I'm really excited to get through a week or two if I'm expecting something in the mail.  Plus whatever it is that comes in the mail might make you feel better about yourself for a while too.  Consider it a well deserved award for getting through a couple of days.

I hope some of these were helpful to you! Comment below with some of the ways that you feel better when you're feeling down.  I'd love to hear them because I'm sure they'll be useful to me sooner or later.

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Customize Your iPhone with Cocoppa!

I'm a huge fan of making everything I know pretty and my phone is one of those things.  I spent way too much time today messing around with this app called Cocoppa that you can get in the App Store for free right here!  I have seen a good amount of people say that using this app has caused problems for their phone. I used it with iOS 6 and had no problems.  I have been using it with iOS 7 and my phone is still fine.  It may just end up that it depends on how often you use your custom buttons, which I will explain below.  The one major issue I had was that there are so many ads on the app that it kept opening Safari pages if I didn't click the right places so just be super careful.  It occasionally quit the app too which was also annoying.  I admittedly un/reinstalled this app probably 10 times last night because I was so frustrated with it.

✿ Introduction ✿

There are a few things that I should clarify before explaining how to do it.  Now, what this app actually does is create shortcuts to your apps, not replace the button that is already on your phone.  What the Cocoppa buttons on your phone actually do is open Safari which then redirects to your phone app so it's more of a shortcut.  This means a couple things.

First, it ends up using a bit of battery power because it opens two apps instead of one.  Second, you have to keep all your original icons.  I choose to hide them in a folder on the next page but keep out the most important ones in case I am trying to save battery power by not opening the extra app (Safari) every time I click a button on my home screen.  Because it goes through Safari, it doesn't work with some of your phone apps, specifically text messaging and your actual phone (aka the reason any of us own a phone anyway which is to make calls).  You do have the option to create a shortcut for a button to call, text, or email a specific person.  You can get around this if you use another app for messaging, such as Line, What'sapp or Kik or another email application.  I personally use Gmail because the preset mail app doesn't load my messages as well.  I also just set my messaging icon to go to text my boyfriend, but you can obviously just click the back button to go to your inbox.  So basically, it looks really cute but it's a bit impractical.  Your choice to use the app depends on your opinion of design vs functionality.

Cocoppa comes with a lot of user created content that is all free for you to choose from.  There are also many categories you can search through.  The above image is one I pulled from Google which is a pretty good sample of some of the super cute icons (and wallpapers) you can find on the app by searching through themes and user profiles.  There are some different kinds of icons that I have seen.  Some are random illustrations, some of which are created in a set by a user, often with a matching wallpaper and lock screen. Others are made to look similar to the original app icon but in different colors.

✿ Using Free Icons ✿

This is actually how my phone was with iOS 6.  I only did a couple icons for my front home screen that were all kind of random on the bottom part.  I got all those icons from the app.  I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory and easy to figure out on your own.  If you have any questions, just comment and ask me.  Once you select the one you like, it will guide you through the set-up.  All you have to do is click "okay" a couple times and it works.

The image above is how my phone looks now.  I made all these icons myself using artwork by Junko Mizuno which was really easy to do.  First I chose the wallpaper and set that the regular way you do that on your phone.  I'm assuming everyone knows how to do that.  There really isn't any in-app explanation for how to make them but I figured it out myself.  First, download the Cocoppa app from the App Store.  Then register an account.  It's easy to do through Twitter.  Facebook wasn't working for me.

To create the icons, go to the Cocoppa website on your computer and log into your account.  I chose to use my computer because I felt it was easier to do it this way.  Because my wallpaper was by artist Junko Mizuno, I chose a bunch of other images by the same artist and saved them to my computer.  Then I chose to upload them individually on the Cocoppa site to create icons.  I was confused because I initially though I had to make them that shape and size prior to uploading, but the website, and I suppose the app as well, let you crop the icons to your preference.

This is important:  You have the option to list your icons for public use but you can only do this if the images are your original artwork meaning not something you found on Google, not something by another artist, etc.  But you can still make icons out of other people's work for your personal use.  You just have to make them private.

So anyway, save all the images you want to your computer and upload and crop them on the Cocoppa website. I had made a mental list of my most used apps so I had an idea of how many icons I wanted to make.  I ended up making some extra so I had a choice when it came to aesthetics.  After you have all your icons cropped and created, open the app on your phone and go to your profile where you will have the option to search your private, self-created icons and install them following the instructions!

I really like the way mine looks with the consistent theme and almost wish I had another phone to customize.  I hope this guide was helpful in explaining this application to you.  If you have any questions, feel free to contact me and if you use the app, I would love to see what your phone looks like!

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FAQ: How do I meet musicians?

It's funny that people are even asking this question to me, someone who had pretty severe social anxiety for most of her childhood.  I would have never seen this coming.  Spoiler alert: Meeting and befriending a musician is not that much different than befriending anyone else.  But anyway, I am here to tell you that if I can do it, so can anyone!  How is that for inspiration?  So as requested, here are some helpful tips for meeting musicians.

The first and most important thing is to remember that...

Musicians are people too.

This is really easy to forget because anyone with some level of fame becomes more of a name rather than a human being due to lack of personal interaction with them.  Remember that they aren't some kind of commodity to collect.  If your goal is to fill your musician version of a Pokedex, you should consider changing your attitude or this isn't going to go well for you.  The fact that musicians are people is definitely the most important thing that you should never ever forget.  Everything else falls into place after this.

Treat them like a person.

I personally try to avoid acting like too much of a fan.  There is a way to let the know how much you appreciate their work without taking it too far.  The same social courtesies that apply to interacting with a classmate or coworker still apply.  Consider how you would feel if you were in their position and treat them with the same respect you expect from others.

Okay now that you have mastered the basics, it's time for the tips on actual interaction.

Where do I find a musician?

Well, luckily we have technology, which allows us two options: internet and concerts.

I am going to come out and tell you now that the more famous the musician is, the more difficult it will be to develop a personal connection with them so be realistic and start out small.

I also met several artists because I booked most of the shows at my college but this is kind of a special case as a lot of people don't have this opportunity.  But if you are interested in more personal interaction with musicians, I would definitely recommend getting involved in on-campus programming because it allowed me to work very personally with a lot of artists I really love.  I still talk to some of them too!

As for at concerts, it really depends on the venue.  I have met many a kind musician at Baltimore's Ottobar, a small venue I frequented the most while in college.  The venue was tricky before I was 21 because it didn't allow re-entry if you were a minor.  There were occasions where I would go see a show and leave the venue thinking the musician was outside but they stayed inside longer than I could wait around for because I had to catch a bus and I couldn't go back inside.  But other times if they didn't kick me out of the non- bar portion of the venue, I stuck around waiting for them to come out afterward and they often did.  I have a history for having more interactions with musicians I have seen or met at Ottobar months after seeing them there but that's just weird luck.

It's pretty difficult to meet artists at larger venues.  I once saw a show at a large venue in New York and wanted to go back inside to speak to the artist (the one I spoke to on Flickr as mentioned in the next section) and ran back in to see him in the lobby talking to other people, ran outside to get my friend, and then the venue employee didn't allow me to re-enter.  That was the only time I came close really.  Two other instances I waited outside near a tour bus and musicians just walked onto the bus and didn't come off making it a complete lost cause and general disappointment.  Disappointments happen but that doesn't mean you won't have another opportunity.

Okay I found one but how do we talk?

Musicians who have personal social media accounts are usually the most willing to interact with others. Ask them questions on Twitter or Tumblr, reblog/reply to their posts... if they are interested in what you have to say, you have a chance of furthering conversation. This really applies to anyone you are interested in talking to, whether they are a performer or not. I know it's hard but just be yourself!  I have interacted with musicians through Twitter and Tumblr.  Additionally, Instagram surprisingly has yielded the best results.  I honestly don't know how that happened but it has worked wonders for networking with a variety of artists.  There was even a case where I had several paragraph long conversations with a musician through his Flickr account!

In the case of concerts, I am usually less anxious about talking to people I have spent less time thinking about.  I always find the first words exchanged are always the hardest because this person doesn't know you despite that you may have spent hours and hours listening to their music and reading their interviews.  A brief comment on the quality of their performance after a show is always a good way to open a conversation.  If you can figure out something constructive to say, then say it.  But if the conversation kind of dies or another fan starts a conversation with them, you will just have to let it be [via The Beatles].  You can continue the conversation a few minutes later if it seems appropriate.

But I am just a nobody and they won't talk to me again.

If they feel like there is some kind of connection, you will talk again.  This is the same as when you meet anyone else.  It is always nice to tweet at them saying how nice their set was and how lovely it was to meet them or something of that nature.  Keep in mind that musicians do a lot of touring and meet a lot of people.  Being a musician isn't just a hobby; it's also a job.  If you have some kind of marketable skill, use it to your advantage.  For example, if you're an amazing illustrator who made amazing fan art that you have given or shown them, you will stand out more.  Reintroduce yourself if you meet them again and don't put them on the spot about remembering who you are.  I try to remind them that we had met once before just to stir their memory without expecting them to recognize me or anything. 

When is it okay to take photos and ask for autographs?

It depends on the artist and situation.  I once sent a Tumblr ask to Ali Koehler of Vivian Girls asking if she likes taking photos with fans and she said she loves it when people ask for photos.  If you happen to run into someone at a music festival or a bar or something, only ask if you feel it's appropriate.  If you are genuinely spending time with the person outside of a concert setting, I would advise against it unless they are the one who suggests taking photos.  I think they usually expect both photos and autographs at their shows.  I personally feel like asking for an autograph when you just randomly run into them is less appropriate than asking for a photo but that is just my feeling about it.  I'm sure some of them would be really flattered that you even recognized them in the first place.

If you have any questions, feel free to direct them here and I will answer them to the best of my abilities.

And here are some photos of me with musicians, proving that my method yields the occasional positive result.  ~after the jump~